


and somewhere along the way, we lost the line

by denkiisbestboyo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Platonic Romance, kenma gets called the f-slur a couple times, kuroo makes some bad romantic decisions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24129604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denkiisbestboyo/pseuds/denkiisbestboyo
Summary: The line between platonic and romantic love had always been a little blurry for Kenma, specifically when Kuroo was concerned. Kenma didn't really mind though. If Kuroo was okay with it, Kenma would be too.Until he can't be anymore.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, mentions of bokuaka - Relationship
Comments: 7
Kudos: 294





	and somewhere along the way, we lost the line

**Author's Note:**

> I was stuck between Blurry Lines and A Platonic Sort of Romance as possible titles as well. The one time i dont need titles i come up with three. i can guarantee you later on i'll have a fic i can't think of anything for

The first time Kenma noticed it, he was eight. 

Kuroo was sick that day, which meant Kenma was sitting alone during recess. He was fine though, as he had the book the librarian had given him that day in class. It was an okay book. Kenma noticed a distinct lack of dragons and wizards, but he supposed not all books could be that good. 

Still, he finished the chapter and marked his place before closing the novel and setting it aside. His internal clock was telling him it was almost time to go inside and back to class anyway. Kenma leaned back against the wall of the school, watching his classmates play. Kenma had never really talked to most of them. There were Kuroo’s friends he played kickball and volleyball with sometimes, and there were some kids playing Pokemon near another wall. The girls were all sitting in a circle on the other edge of the courtyard, playing some hand tapping game. Every now and again they would burst into giggles. Kenma found it vaguely annoying. 

A shrill cry rang out across the courtyard. 

Kenma’s eyes flicked back over to where Kuroo’s other friends were. One of the boys had fallen, and was clutching his ankle while the rest of the group gathered around him, looking unsure of what to do. Kenma shifted against the wall, drawing his knees up into his chest. 

One of the teachers hurried over, helping the boy up to his feet and half-carrying him back into the school building, presumably off to find the nurse. Kenma could tell the boy was trying to hold back his tears. His friends watched him go, only milling around for a few moments before someone threw the ball again, and the game resumed. 

Kenma was a little puzzled. 

The boy’s friends had just stood there. When Kenma got hurt, Kuroo never just stood there. If it had been Kenma, Kuroo would have pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before slinging an arm under Kenma’s shoulders and getting him to the nurse himself. And if it had been Kuroo, Kenma would have sat down next to him, and let him cry and wipe his face on his shirt and hold his hands. It had always been that way. That was how it was supposed to work.

It was the first time that Kenma thought that maybe, he and Kuroo were different. 

* * *

It became more evident as they got to middle school. 

The other boys didn't hold hands when they were upset. They didn’t sit on each other’s laps when there was no space on the bus. They didn’t share jackets and shirts. They didn’t carry each other’s school things.

In primary school, no one had really cared. 

Now, not so much. 

The boy knocked Kenma’s books out of his hands again and they clattered to the floor. Kenma didn’t know his name. He was older than him, maybe in Kuroo’s class. 

Kenma looked resolutely at the floor and tried to stop his hands from shaking. 

“You dress like a faggot.” The boy said, reaching out and grabbing Kenma’s school blazer. “Who cuffs their fucking uniform?”

_ The trousers are too long _ , Kenma wanted to say. But his mouth didn’t move. The boy just tightened his grip on Kenma’s shirt, pushing him against the wall. 

“Look like a girl too.” The boy said, reaching out and taking a handful of Kenma’s hair and pulling. “Faggot.” 

Kenma squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the pain.  _ Faggot. _ Kenma didn’t know what that meant, but he had seen people use it as an insult online before. Kenma wished the bell would ring, or someone would walk into the hall or just  _ something _ , anything to make the boy leave. 

“Hey, Kenma you left your-” 

Kenma opened his eyes to see Kuroo come around the corner, holding Kenma’s sweatshirt. Kuroo stopped dead in the middle of the hall, his eyes flicking between Kenma and the boy. The boy tightened his hold in Kenma’s hair, making Kenma whimper. 

Kuroo dropped the sweatshirt and launched himself at the boy, pulling him off Kenma with the force of a small aircraft taking off. The boy stumbled back, his sneer falling into an angry grimace. 

“You shouldn’t be friends with faggots.” He spat at Kuroo, his eyes flicking back to Kenma in the middle of his sentence. “My dad says if you hang out with them they’ll try and molest you-”

“Shut up.” Kuroo growled. “Shut the fuck up.”

The boy’s eyes glimmered, sensing an opportunity. “What? You don’t like when I say that? Faggot. Faggot. Fag-”

Kuroo lunged forward and punched the boy in the jaw. 

The boy tripped and fell, clutching his face. Kenma could see the water begin to build up behind his eyes. 

He got up, scrambling away before Kuroo could throw another punch. 

Kenma let himself slide down the wall and sink to the floor. 

“Kenma.” Kuroo knelt down in front of him. 

Kenma looked into his eyes, mapping out the amber sheen he knew so well. Kuroo was here. He was okay. 

Kuroo didn’t ask if he was okay and neither did Kenma. Kuroo just pulled Kenma into him, embracing him with his whole body. Kenma balled his hands into the back of Kuroo’s uniform and pressed his face into the crook of his neck, taking a shaky breath and trying to steady his heartbeat. He was okay. 

When Kuroo pressed his lips against Kenma’s forehead, the boy's words echoed in his mind. 

_ Faggot. _

* * *

Luckily, high school was better. 

People stopped caring as much. They went about their own business and left Kenma alone for the most part, which he liked. When Kuroo became captain of the volleyball team, things got even better. No one questioned Kenma’s perpetual closeness to Kuroo. They were best friends and a duo. A team. 

Still, Kenma had long since reached the conclusion that he and Kuroo weren’t normal. 

It didn’t bother him though. So what if the other boys didn’t share beds during long run study sessions-turned-sleepovers? Who cared if their touches lingered or they found comfort in holding each other’s hands? If it didn’t bother Kuroo, it didn’t bother Kenma. 

Well, maybe it sometimes bothered Kenma. 

Kuroo crashed to the floor, landing on his back with a loud thump. The gym fell silent, save for the bounce of a volleyball escaping into a shadowy corner, as the team waited for Kuroo to get up. 

Kuroo rolled over and smacked his hand against the flooring, glancing at Kenma. 

Kenma dropped to his knees and scooted over to Kuroo, winding his hands together and pressing down on the bottom of where Kuroo’s lungs should be. Kuroo’s chest muscles contracted quickly as he took a large gasp of air. 

“Thanks.” He exhaled, peeling himself up off the floor and propping up on his elbows. “Got the wind knocked out of me.”

Kenma rested back on his toes. “Yes I saw.” He said. “Very graceful.”

“Shut up.” Kuroo rolled his eyes, getting up and reaching back down for Kenma’s hand. Kenma gripped his, and Kuroo pulled him up from the ground, keeping their hands locked so he could press a quick kiss to Kenma’s knuckles before he dropped their hands and got back to practice. 

Kenma didn’t think anything of it until he caught Yamamoto and Inuoka looking at him.

Kenma fought down a blush. People always stared at him if they caught Kuroo being affectionate, and Kenma hated it. He hated being looked at, especially the looks people gave him in these instances. 

He dealt with it though, like he always did, because Kuroo’s affection was worth more than his discomfort of being noticed.

* * *

“Kenma.”

Kenma looked up from his PSP. Kuroo was standing in the doorway to his room, smiling down at Kenma. 

Kenma shifted over on his bed, making room for Kuroo to flop down next to him. 

And he did, resting his head on Kenma’s thigh so he could watch him game. Kenma returned to playing, the click of the buttons under his fingers disturbing the silence of his room again. 

“You’re never going to guess what happened today.” Kuroo said. 

“You got that one guys volleyball card.” Kenma said.

“No.” Kuroo grinned. “But that would have been awesome too.”

Kenma hummed, waiting for Kuroo to tell him.

Kuroo waited a few seconds - that dramatic pause he always sprinkled into important conversations - before spilling. “A girl confessed to me today.”

Kenma hummed again. “Which one?” 

Kuroo had quite the fanclub at school - as the captain of the volleyball team and just a good looking guy in general. Kenma was used to seeing them at lunch, sneaking glances over at their table, or as they were walking to practice. He didn’t mind them much, as they hardly ever spoke to him but sometimes it bothered him if they tried to get him to convince Kuroo to ask them out. Kenma never really understood that tactic. It never worked.

“Kireinahana.” Kuroo said. 

Kenma racked his brain for a moment. “She’s the one with the glasses?”

“Mmm.” Kuroo said. “Cornered me before my second class today. She had a hand-written note and everything.”

“Sounds nice.” Kenma noted.

“You’re not going to ask what I said?” Kuroo asked.

Kenma glanced over at him. “Well, I assume you said yes.”

Kuroo frowned. 

“Kuroo, if you had said no, you wouldn’t have been smiling and the story would have started differently.” Kenma said. “I’m not dumb.”

Kuroo sighed. “Fine, yeah, I said yes.”

“Good for you.” Kenma said. 

Kuroo shifted on the bed, leaning more into Kenma. “I thought you’d have more of a reaction.”

“Did you want me to?”

“No, I mean, you didn’t hit me or anything.” Kuroo said. “So that was good.”

“Why would I hit you?” Kenma asked.

Kuroo shrugged. “Dunno. Bokuto said Akaashi hit him when he told him he had a girlfriend.”

“Well.” Kenma stifled a laugh. That was Bokuto and Akaashi. That was different. 

“Still, it feels kind of weird.” Kuroo said. “Girlfriend. Sounds weird too.”

“You’ll get used to it.” Kenma assured. 

* * *

Kuroo did get used to it. Kireinahana walked with him to class. Kuroo would take her out for dinner after practice sometimes. Whenever Kenma wasnt with Kuroo, Kireinahana probably was, and sometimes she tagged along on their walks and meals as well. 

Kenma felt a little like a third wheel, but he tolerated her for Kuroo.

It was when Kuroo wasn’t around that Kireinahana really bothered Kenma. 

They were both at Kuroo’s house and Kuroo had disappeared to the bathroom for a moment, leaving Kireinahana and Kenma in the living room.

Kireinahana broke the silence first. 

“You and Tetsurou are really close.” 

_ Tetsurou _ . Kenma kind of hated that she called him that. “I guess.”

Kireinahana shifted on the couch. “It’s kind of weird that you guys are so touchy, don’t you think?”

“Is it?” Kenma said. He knew that it was. But he didn’t like where this conversation was going. 

“Hmm.” Kireinahana smiled. “I don’t know. I just think it’s kind of like he has two girlfriends.” She laughed drily. 

Kenma said nothing. 

“Don’t you think that’s kind of weird?” She said. 

Kenma glanced down at the sofa under him. It was weird. 

Kuroo returned from the bathroom and plopped down between Kireinahana and Kenma again, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “Remote?”

Kireinahana handed him the remote, still looking at Kenma.

Kuroo unpaused the movie.

The couch shifted as Kuroo settled in again, and the uncomfortable tension in the room dissipated with the soundtrack of the bad action movie. 

Kenma focused on the screen. The lead and the love interest were passionately making out while the sidekick fended off the aliens. Kenma had never related more to a character in his life. 

Kuroo rested a hand on his thigh. 

Kenma glanced up at him, but Kuroo was paying attention to the movie. He met Kireinahana’s eyes instead.

Kenma looked back to the screen. 

* * *

Kenma made an effort to stop Kuroo’s touches after that. He shrugged it off when Kuroo would lay an arm across his shoulders. He would shrink away from Kuroo’s hugs, and dodge his touches when he could. After a while, Kuroo got the memo and would stop himself from touching Kenma. 

It killed him.

Every time Kuroo would go to reach for his hand and stop himself, Kenma wanted to cry. He felt awful. 

Kuroo’s touches were a part of his life, and now they were gone. He missed the gentle way Kuroo used to intertwine their fingers while they walked, or the little kisses that he would have pressed to Kenma’s hands and forehead. 

And it was obvious Kuroo missed it too, judging by the way he started touching Kireinahana more. 

Kenma had never really understood how a person could feel so strongly about another person that they would  _ want _ to hurt them, but now he got it. 

Still, he endured, because really, this is how things should have been all along. This was normal. This was just like all the other boys at school. They all had their best friends and their girlfriends and they kept them seperate. 

Kenma rolled the word around in his mind.  _ Normal. _ He’d gotten so used to being different that normal felt foreign. 

Kenma got up from the bench and slung his bag over his shoulder, getting ready to leave the locker room. 

“Hey, wait up.” 

Kenma stopped, turning around to face Kuroo. “You take too long.”

“Sorry.” Kuroo grinned, slipping on his shoes and throwing his bag over his shoulder. “Okay, ready.

Kenma held the door open for him on their way out. 

The walk home was quiet, just the soft pad of feet and the click of the buttons on Kenma’s PSP filling the cool evening air. 

Kuroo broke the peace first. 

“You okay?”

Kenma didn’t glance up. “What do you mean?”

“Well…” Kuroo paused. “You’ve just been kind of distant lately.”

Kenma felt his heart tug. “Oh.”

“You know you can talk to me about stuff right?” Kuroo said. 

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Kuroo said. “I just don’t want you to be upset.”

Kenma said nothing. 

For a little while, it seemed like the conversation was over. They were almost home when Kuroo spoke again.

“It’s not because of the touching, is it?” 

Kenma jolted back to reality, missing the critical hit in his game. “No.”

“You’ve just been… pushing me away lately.” Kuroo said. “And if it makes you uncomfortable that’s fine, I’ll stop, but you never seemed to have a problem with it before. And…” He paused. “I kind of miss it. I miss you.”

Kenma’s heart tugged harder. Kuroo was upset because of him. 

“Kenma you’ve got to talk to me.” 

Kenma looked up from his game. “I just need a break.”

“A break.” Kuroo repeated. 

Kenma nodded, pieces of hair falling in his face. 

“Right.” Kuroo said. “Um.”

Kenma stopped at the pathway to his door. Kuroo stopped as well, just looking at him. Kenma couldn’t meet his eyes. “Night.”

If things had been normal, they would have hugged. Kuroo would have wrapped Kenma up one last time until the next morning, when he would greet him by twining their hands together. 

“Night.” Kuroo said. 

Kenma went inside and cried. 

He ruined it. 

* * *

Kenma was imploding slowly. He was bending back in one himself, falling back into old habits and quiet places, avoiding people and losing himself in books and games to distract himself from those empty places in his hands, his head and his heart. 

Kuroo said nothing about it. Not that he would have noticed anyway, with all the time he was spending with Kireinahana. 

Kireinahana still glared at him when he was with Kuroo though. She had certainly took notice and Kenma could tell she reveled in the way he shrank back in on himself. He was out of her way now, not that he was ever really in it to begin with. 

Kenma endured, like he did, for Kuroo.

Kuroo seemed happy with her. He smiled and laughed and let her rest her head on his shoulder. They were a good match.

Kenma tried not to look at them too much. 

“Kenma.”

There had been too many times when Kireinahana had caught him looking. He didn't want to look at her.

“Oi, Kenma.”

Her eyes were always cold and piercing-

A hand landed on his shoulder and Kenma jolted back to reality, his eyes refocusing on the textbook in front of him.

“You’ve been staring at the same page for ten minutes.” Kuroo said. “What’s up with you?”

“Just spaced out I guess.” Kenma said.

Kuroo frowned. 

“Sorry.” Kenma mumbled, going back to his studying. 

Kuroo reached across the table, closing Kenma’s textbook. “Something’s going on.” It wasn’t a question this time. 

“I’m fine Kuroo.” Kenma said. He didn’t want to do this right now.

“You’re not.” Kuroo said. “I can see it. What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m okay.” Kenma insisted. 

Kuroo frowned, reaching across the table to grab Kenma’s hand. Kenma pulled it away quickly, tucking both of his hands in his lap where Kuroo couldn’t get them. 

Kuroo’s frown deepened. “Kenma.”

“I’m okay.” Kenma said. “I just need a break.”

“You’ve had bags under your eyes for days.” Kuroo said. “And your form at practice has been sloppy. You’ve been extra quiet at lunch, and you’ve stopped walking to practice with me. Don’t try that shit with me.”

Kenma clutched his hands together and pressed his lips into a thin line. 

“Kenma,” Kuroo said softly. “Just tell me what’s wrong.”

Kenma felt the first couple tears slip out on their own before he could stop them. 

Kuroo closed his own textbook and got up, coming around the table to scoop Kenma out of his chair and sit him down on Kuroo’s bed before settling down beside him and pulling him into his lap, holding him like he used to. Kenma shakily unwound, wrapping his arms around Kuroo’s shoulders and pressing his face into his chest, breathing in his scent.

“Is someone being a dick again?” Kuroo asked. “Like in middle school?”

Kenma shook his head. No, middle school had been easier. Blunt punches and hair pulling were one thing, emotional manipulation and psychological torment were another. 

“School stuff?” Kuroo asked, running a hand over Kenma’s back. “Team stuff?”

Kenma shook his head again.    
“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t fix it.” Kuroo said. 

“I can’t.” Kenma said. 

“You can’t?”

“I can’t.” Kenma choked. 

“Kenma, whatever it is, I promise it won’t make me think of you any differently.” Kuroo assured. 

Kenma said nothing. 

“Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.” Kuroo said. 

Kenma wanted to believe him. He desperately wanted Kuroo to fix it. But that would require telling Kuroo. And telling Kuroo that his girlfriend, who he liked and cared about, would hurt him. And when word got back to Kireinahana… 

Kenma shook his head, pressing closer to Kuroo.

Kuroo pulled back, looking Kenma in the eye. “I care about you, you know that, right?”

Kuroo’s face went blurry as the tears piled up behind Kenma’s eyes. “It’s your girlfriend.” Kenma whispered.

“What?”

* * *

Kuroo was quiet on the walk to school the next day. It only added to the mess on anxiety curling in Kenma’s stomach. 

Kuroo barely said two words the whole way there, only occasionally squeezing Kenma’s hand. Kenma was incredibly relieved to have his touches back. He’d missed Kuroo’s touches more than he could verbally express. 

Kuroo had insisted Kenma stay the night last night. They’d showered and curled up in Kuroo’s bed and talked about middle school and volleyball and whatever else came to mind before passing out in each other’s arms. Kenma had the best sleep he’d had in weeks. 

Kenma tried to focus on that instead of the growing storm clouds hovering over Kuroo’s head as they got closer to the school. 

As they neared the gate, Kenma could see Kireinahana waiting outside, like she usually did for Kuroo. Kenma tried to pull his hand away, only to have Kuroo tighten his grip, swinging their clasped hands between them where Kireinahana could see.

Kenma could only look at the cement sidewalk under his feet. 

“Morning.” Kuroo greeted cheerily. 

“Morning.” Kireinahana said. Kenma could hear her distaste. 

“So.” Kuroo chirped. “We’re breaking up.”

“I-what?” 

Kenma looked up from the ground.

“Yeah, I mean, bullying my best friend behind my back?” Kuroo shrugged. “Kind of a deal breaker.”

Kireinahana slowly turned her gaze from Kuroo to Kenma, her eyes shooting daggers. 

“I’m not done yet.”

Her attention snapped back to Kuroo. 

“I’m not going to bear down on the insecurities that caused this.” He said. “But, targeting someone that I love to get to me-”

“You don’t love him.” Kireinahana scoffed.

“-is just. What?”

“You don’t love him.” She repeated. “Not like you love me.”

Kuroo’s voice turned to venom. 

“I assure you, I love him more than I ever loved you.”

The pit of Kenma’s stomach dropped. “Kuroo-”

“You’re a snake.” Kuroo hissed. “You’re a manipulative insecure little girl who’s so desperate for any sort of affection that you’ll cut anyone down you see as a threat and I pity you for it. We’re over. I hope you never speak to me again.”

Kireinahana started to cry as Kuroo and Kenma walked into the schoolyard. 

* * *

Kenma was very happy when things returned to normal. Or, as normal as different could be anyway. 

Kuroo was sprawled out on Kenma’s bed, resting tired muscles after a long day of school and practice. And Kenma was sprawled out on top of Kuroo, holding his PSP so they could both see the action unfolding on the screen.

Kenma was rearranging his starting team when Kuroo spoke. 

“You should name your enemy Kireinahana.”

Kenma bit back a smile. “That’s kind of rude, don’t you think?”

“She deserves it.” Kuroo said. 

“I’m not naming my enemy after your ex girlfriend.”

Kuroo sighed, but grinned anyway when Kenma launched into battle, his team easily overpowering the computer generated enemy. The fight was over in a matter of seconds. Kenma took the victory in stride, moving on to the next level. 

Kenma only startled a little when Kuroo rested his arms over Kenma’s chest, hugging him in. 

“Kuroo?”

Kuroo hummed. 

Kenma tilted his head back, gently resting it against Kuroo’s collarbone. Kuroo accepted the gesture, leaning forward to press a kiss to Kenma’s forehead. Kenma smiled. 

And everything was how it should be. 

**Author's Note:**

> if ur interested, u can come scream at me about fics n things at either @denkiisbestboyo or @kenmamightbebestboyotoo on tumblr


End file.
